Married Essay: Facts and Opinions
by NintendoGal55
Summary: An insight essay on the episode "Married", the little things within it that we see and just how much it exposes about our top pairing of the series.


**Hello one and all. I previously did an essay on one of my favourite episodes of the series, which was "Arnold Visits Arnie", based on an essay that an anonymous fan had written. Then in my shipping essay of ArnoldxHelga, I even mentioned that I would probably do an essay based on the episode "Married" (or was that in my other essay?) All along I'd been unsure about it and kind procrastinating...**

**So my friend HAFanForever of course brought it up to me a few times and persuaded me to go and do it. Now here it is. **

**Enjoy it, and if I missed any information at all, tell me so. I'll do my best to cover as much as the episode as possible along with my own interpretation of it. And I'll throw in some commentary in brackets. So here we go.**

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Plot Rundown

"Married" is episode 96 in Season Five, and was originally aired on May 11th, 2002. The episode is a fan favourite considering it delves into Arnold's subconscious yet again, just like in "Arnold Visits Arnie", and we get an indication that even Arnold has trouble coming to terms with his true feelings, which are likely repressed, considering what happens at the end of his dream when Helga nearly confesses that she loves him. This also brings in an indication that he's aware of her feelings for him, and that he most likely heard her at the beginning of the episode when she was reciting one of her usual love monologues about her love for him. In basics, this episode is when Arnold and Helga both dream about what it would be like to be married.

I already gave an excerpt of the episode in my shipping essay, so of course we all know what happens, especially at the end, but since we're here, let's dive right in.

The episode begins with Arnold yet again, much less to our surprise, showering Lila with compliments, while Helga is lurking in a corner, completely jealous. Lila goes on to say that the bell is going to ring soon, which it does, and Arnold expresses how impressed he is that she knew that. Helga on the other hand is less than impressed and mutters about how easy it is to tell when the bell is ringing, since all you need is "a stinking watch!" and soon after everyone goes inside, she ducks behind some trash cans and has a dramatic soliloquy, speaking to her locket about her love for Arnold, basically how he knows that deep down she is a good person.

She also says this very interesting line, in regards to that Lila may be perfect and comes off as the perfect girl, but it's she herself who truly loves Arnold, and it doesn't matter that she's not like Lila.

**"Sure she looks pretty and acts smart, and she's funny and kind and popular, but that's still no reason to go all gaga over her. I mean, what's she got that I haven't got? Okay, so maybe I'm not pretty, and I'm not popular, and maybe I don't act nice and sweet and kind like Lila always does. That still doesn't change the fact that I'm the one, the one and only one who truly loves Arnold."**

Anyway, moving on, as I said before, anytime Arnold points out something about her, about being a good person, he's dead on correct, despite that Helga is quick to deny it to him. Then Arnold shows up behind the garbage cans, claiming he'd forgotten his books and heard her there, making Helga freak out and as usual, tell him off.

At the end of the day, Rhonda presents an origami "love calculator", which by most is known as a "cootie catcher", saying that it will predict who the user will marry one day. (I don't know about you, but shouldn't she have more than one considering all the names she needs? But I digress.) She first uses it on Eugene, who ends up getting Sheena, much to his dismay, and to Sheena's delight. Then on Peapod Kid, who ends up getting Nadine, to his delight.

Gerald persuades Arnold to give it a try, who is skeptical about it at first. Arnold isn't a very superstitious person, he's a lot more practical, which was also indicated in the episode "Friday The 13th" (XD Ironically one of my favourite horror movie franchises of all time, but I digress), and now yet again. But then Gerald suggests he could get Lila, so that's enough to convince Arnold to just try it for the heck of it. This is also the episode that we know Arnold is born on the seventh of some month, and since Craig did once call Arnold a Libra (September 23rd-October 23rd), so it led us fans to believe that his birthday is indeed on October 7th (also the day the show first aired on October 7th, 1996).

So Arnold takes the love calculator, and ends up with Helga, much to his dismay and to her delight (and the delight of us fans of the pair) whilst she's hidden and listens in on it all. Arnold tries it again, and gets Helga. Again, he gets Helga. Comically, he ends up taking it _one-hundred and ten times, _and always ends up with Helga. How that is possible, even I can't tell you, but I think we all know not to bring TOO MUCH logic into animated shows. Anyway, so now poor Arnold is dismayed and terrified of this, while Helga is pretty much over the moon about it, bringing them both to opposite ends of the spectrum. Arnold keeps going on to say this is horrible, a nightmare, he'd never go through with this. Helga goes on to say it's wonderful, a dream come true, he's the one she'll marry one day. This whole thing has a huge impact on the both of them as it leads them to have dreams that they're married.

Helga's Dream

Helga's married dream is pure fantasy, romantic, over the top, and very silly. But at the same time, we fans of the pairing just can't help but enjoy it, since it depicts Arnold and Helga being happily married. So it's a fun little fan favourite, fan service if you will, that's pretty much all it is. It serves to be stark contrast to Arnold's more important, serious and horrific nightmare.

In her dream, it starts off with them, both adults, at the altar getting married, saying their "I do's", with Helga then grabbing Arnold into a passionate kiss before they leave hand-in-hand into a limo. The next scene is their honeymoon in Venice, Italy. They're travelling the canals on a gondola, with Helga eventually questioning how he truly feels about Lila. Arnold quickly denies any sort of feelings for her, saying she is nothing more than an annoying memory, that she couldn't be further from his thoughts, but her (Helga), nearer. Adult Lila then comes after them on her own broken down gondola, all bedraggled, begging for Arnold to take her back and love her again. Arnold of course refuses this and says that he loves Helga and no longer feels that way about her. Lila then pokes a hole in her boat, causing it to sink, with her complaining that she can't swim. (Probably a reference back to "Love And Cheese") She is then fished out by Sheena's Uncle Earl. Next, we come to Arnold and Helga on the balcony of a penthouse in New York City (because of the World Trade Center in the background, reasons why this episode doesn't air any longer, despite that this episode aired nearly a year after 9/11), where Helga is reading the newspaper, appalled by the country's problems, such as inflation, unemployment, and a baby being born with a winning lottery ticket, and declares she's going to run for president. Arnold brightly tells her that it's wonderful and he'll support her all the way, then proceeds to shower her with compliments ("I'm gonna shower you with compliments for no reason, other than I love you!" XD). (Also telling us that Helga's eyes are blue)

Next scene, Helga ends up winning the election and becomes President of the United States. Irony is thrown in when Arnold quickly congratulates her, but is then elbowed aside. Ouch! Lila then tries to sneak in through the crowd, but Helga orders the U.S. Secret Service to drag her away. Later, Helga is now in the Oval Office, with adult Phoebe, who is the Secretary of State. With a reference to real life, Phoebe responds with "Holding, cancelling, telling, and...getting!" when Helga tells her to hold the chile (supposed to be the country of Chile), cancel the appointment with the Milk Board, telling the Swiss Ambassador that his "Cheese Plan" is "full of holes", and to get her a pastrami on rye, with extra mustard. And of course for a little love, Phoebe tells her Arnold is there to see her, and Helga of course tells her to send him in. Arnold comes in, and they hug, and have a little Eskimo kiss (rubbing their noses together). (Awwwww!)

Later on, Helga is on the phone with the Swiss Ambassador, when Phoebe bursts in, telling her that Arnold was kidnapped by a mysterious organization, and being held in a fortress in Northern Italy. The Joint Chiefs of Staff are formulating a plan to rescue him, but Helga insists that she'll save him instead. She has Phoebe fire Air Force One, and it departs. Phoebe gives her the rundown, and they come to the aforementioned fortress in Northern Italy. Helga infiltrates the place, and even looks at a Global Arnold Detector (which looks like her locket), finding his location. Managing to sneak past the guards, she comes into the room to find Arnold tied to the chair with tape over his mouth. But before she can save him, ninjas attack, and she fights them off...even giving them the slip with the second packet of peanuts she'd requested from earlier.

Then the terrorist responsible makes themselves known, with Helga fighting him off. (Is it me, or did the outfit look a lot like the Cobra Commander from _G.I. Joe_? I don't watch the show, but I do know how he looks. Weird. Guess Craig wanted to pay homage? Is Helga a fan?) When she takes the mask off, it reveals that the terrorist is none other than Lila. Lila apologizes profusely and pathetically begs Arnold to take her back and forgive her. But Arnold tells her straight out that her plan failed, because it only made the love between him and Helga stronger. The U.S. Secret Service bursts in, led by Gerald, who smiles and at them as they take Lila away upon Helga's orders. (Hey, she gave Gerald a pretty awesome job, pretty nice of her to think of his best friend) She and Arnold hug each other, and then are later seen flying away in a hot air balloon. He thanks her for saving him, and she says it's no big deal, then offers to share some pastrami on rye with him. They eat through the sandwich and then kiss like there's no tomorrow as the balloon flies away...

(And it's the first time we actually see their lips touching when they kiss, considering we never saw their lips until the movie.)

So in all, while Helga's dream was just meant to be an over the top fantasy of true love and adventure, we fans of the pair find it fun and enjoyable because it's a little bonus, and not meant to be taken seriously. (Don't lie, AxH fans, you can't watch that dream without smiling a bit. ;)) Now that we've soaked in a little bit of fun and love, it's time to move on to Arnold's dream.

Arnold's Dream

Arnold's dream is the most important of their dreams in this episode, especially since it transcends from being his worst nightmare, to...pretty okay, more than what he asked for. It pretty much reflects his perception of their lives, from how it can be bad...and then at some times, actually be kind of nice. Through it, we do pity the poor thing for having to face such a nightmare, and yet we can't help but find it adorably weird and funny.

The dream starts off with Arnold, now twenty-five (even though his appearance hasn't changed, he's just taller) and standing at the altar in a church, about to be married. Gerald is his best man, and explains what's going on upon Arnold's confusion of the whole thing. Then the bride comes in, but her face is veiled so we have no idea who it is, and neither does Arnold, so naturally he gets a little uplifted and thinks it's Lila. No such luck. It's revealed to be Helga. (Her appearance also hasn't changed, she's just taller and has breasts...heh heh, Arnold you perv XD) So much to his horror, _she_ is the woman he's marrying. It reflects on how she tends to ruin a good thing for him, not to mention how she tricks him into doing something when she tricks him into saying "I do". She does this by pulling a "Rabbit Season/Duck Season" kind of trick on him (that's just the way I put it, for laughs XD) and ends up marrying her. And she of course plants a smooch on him to seal the deal. Whether or not that reflects the times she's kissed him in real life is beyond me, considering he never exactly seemed repulsed or disgusted, more like confused and curious. But I digress.

So now they're married, and moving in with her parents. Helga is the one carrying poor Arnold across the threshold, which I guess reflects how he views that she's dominating and wants to take control. So he and the Pataki family sit down to dinner, Big Bob is even equipped with a King's crown and cape (XD Hahahaahaha! Beeper King indeed!), and tells Arnold that he's going to work at the Beeper Emporium. Arnold is hesitant, he doesn't want to be a salesman. But oh no, he has to work on the loading dock. And Helga? She's going to do nothing but sit around at home all day and do what she wants. By Big Bob's logic, why should she have to work when he's going to work? Miriam collapses asleep into the stuffing, and Big Bob of course addresses Helga as Olga, the typical occurrences in the household. This is one of the most important scenes in the episode, or in his dream, for that matter.

I also want to mention why this scene is important, it's because we see here that Arnold is aware of the trouble Helga faces at home, what with Miriam being out of it or collapsed all the time, and Big Bob being a blowhard and disregarding her by calling her Olga instead of her real name. As seen in episodes that Helga has to deal with her family's problems (such as "Big Sis", "Big Bob's Crisis", "Olga Gets Engaged", "Student Teacher" and so on), Arnold is always the one to pop up and be told what's going on, and he listens to her and offers her advice. So in all, he knows what's going on in the Pataki household, and he feels pretty bad for her, and this is where he understands why she is the way she is...even if it's no picnic to deal with it on a daily basis. But I digress.

Anyway, so then we cut to Arnold working on the loading dock the Beeper Emporium, while the other three union workers sit there doing nothing at all. Leaving poor Arnold to work all by himself. He even slips on a banana peel, causing him to injure himself. Poor baby. We later cut to Arnold and Big Bob walking home, with him (Arnold) being continuously berated about his lousy work on his first day, and then they come to see the stork flying away. Whether or not Arnold knows where babies come from is, again, beyond me. That could have just as easily have been thrown in for laughs. On the other hand, he DID say that they'd only been married two days, which I guess indicates that MAYBE he knows it takes nine months to have a baby. So anyway, the stork brought in three babies, all of which Arnold has to take care of, on top of also working. Helga excuses herself and goes to the movies, once again leaving Arnold to the responsibilities.

Later, our episode is soon drawing to a close, and this is where it gets intense. Arnold comes home from work, finding Helga laying there on the recliner watching TV and munching on junk food, all the while with their kids making a huge mess of things around the house. It's at this point that Arnold snaps in a way that only Arnold can, and decides that he won't take this any longer. He turns off the T.V., seizes Helga, and tells her that he's had enough and won't take it anymore. He's going to quit his job, move them out of this house and get a place of their own, that she take responsibility in the household, and also, to show him respect.

Now, I'm going to address something that I think some people may have come to question, it's that Arnold is actually willing to stick this out and try to make things better for them, when he could just as easily say "I give up, I want a divorce!", then walk out of it all. That always struck me as surprising, and yet, I think I see why. This is my interpretation. Of course, this IS a dream, and no one really has control over what happens in their dreams, and I have a pretty good feeling that he believes in the sanctity of marriage. Not to mention, there's kids in the picture. And we know of course that Arnold always wants to do the right thing, and make the best out of any situation. And, more importantly, he knows Helga is a good person. This is where this part of the episode comes into play. I already talked about it and put it into my previous essay, so here it is again!

**Arnold: **Why are you doing this? Look, I know you're not this lazy and cold and uncaring! You may act like that, but deep down I know you're smart and you have feelings, and if we have to be married to each other, then I want you to start showing it!

**Helga:** I don't know what you're talking about.

**Arnold: **Yes, you do, Helga! Why can't you just admit it? You're not this mean!

**Helga:** Yes, I am!

**Arnold: **No, you're not! You're not!

**Helga:** Okay, okay, you're right. I can't hide it anymore. You've seen through my tough, blustery exterior and into my soft, mushy good-hearted center. It's true I'm not this bad. I guess I was just afraid to show my real feelings. But you knew it all along, didn't you? I may be rough around the edges, but deep down I'm a good person and I don't hate you. In fact, I sort of like you. I mean, actually, I sort of...more than like you. I...I really like you. I really, really like you. And, well I like you so much that you might say that I actually lo-...that I actually love-

Much to our dismay, Arnold's alarm clock goes off, therefore ending the dream. But like I said before, part of Helga's confession there lies in the fact that he must have heard some of her monologue from earlier in the episode when she was hidden behind the trash cans. And like I said before, also stated in my previous essays, Arnold subconsciously knows that Helga loves him, and deep down within that subconscious, it's very very very well hinted that he feels the same way. It's likely that his feelings are repressed, and he may be a bit in denial about it either way. This episode is great, because not only do we dive back into Arnold's subconscious, but we get an indication of how Arnold really feels about her, and how he knows somehow deep down that she loves him. And as a bonus, thanks to Helga's little dream, we got a little bit of fun fan service.

Conclusion

So the next day, on the bus, we have Arnold telling Gerald about his dream, that even though it was quite a nightmare at first, it ended up on an okay note. He also says that hey, it was just a dream, he's only nine and has plenty of time to decide who he'll marry one day. But if he ever did end up married to Helga, it wouldn't be so bad. Gerald of course still thinks he's crazy, and Helga from where she's listening is delighted to hear that. Rhonda comes up and announces that her origami marriage predictor was indeed a flop. To Sheena's dismay, Eugene's relief, and Peapod Kid's horror, as well as Helga's dismay. She (Rhonda) even goes on to say to Phoebe just how much of a mismatch Arnold and Helga really are, that it would never work, and she apologized to him about the mix-up.

And then our episode ends with Phoebe looking out the window, smilingly thinking about a very sweet vision. Now, I love this scene in the episode, it's one of my favourite scenes in the series, period. She envisions Arnold and Helga, as adults, on the deck of a lighthouse together. They smile at each other, and then they hold hands. Comple with wedding rings on their respective ring fingers, as they stand there watching the sunset. I really love this scene for two reasons. One, Phoebe was really sweet to think of such a thing, and it shows that she does know very well how much Arnold means to Helga, it was a perfect little future vision from a great friend. Plus, she keeps the secret hush-hush, like any good friend would. The second reason I love it is the atmosphere, the feeling. It's realistic, but it's not downplayed. It's romantic and sweet, but not overplayed. It's just perfect, and it has us fans of the pairing thinking "Yes, I can see that happening." And I know I definitely can. It was a perfect moment to visualize their possible future.

After all, just as my friend HAFanForever said in her essay entitled "Love as True as Time", we know that one day (I mean the TJM) Arnold will really look beyond Helga's rough exterior and find the girl of his dreams. And I don't deny the words of the man himself, Craig, "You know they're meant for each other."

So that concludes my essay on the fun, innovative and subconscious episode that is "Married". Thank you for reading, I hope this was of good information and interpretation, and have a nice day.


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